As a recent college graduate, I am in the same boat as a lot of my fellow graduates. That’s right, JOBLESS. Awesome. My parents are so proud (read: pissed) that they spent $160,000 on my college education for me to end up sitting jobless at their summer home in Maine. So what if I’m not currently living in the apartment they’re paying $850 a month for me to live in? I’d much rather sit on my fat ass and eat, tan, and drink at their expense. Sorry parentals, get used to it.
Honestly, I might be more apt to stay in my tiny two bedroom apartment on near Fenway Park (yay red sox!) if my roommate didn’t invite her sister and sister’s boyfriend to our apartment all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I like the sister, I’m just not a fan on watching the bf give the sister massages and watch them take naps in my roommate’s bed (seriously, that happens). That’s not truly the reason I’ve been steering clear of my apartment and roommate though. Recently, at my family’s summer party, (200 people, open bar, craziness obviously ensues) my awesome roommate made awesome decisions, that included hooking up with one of my Dad’s friends. Let’s write this out.
My roommate, who I have recently grown to hate, is 21 years old. Very unattractive, but thinks she’s hot shit (don’t get me wrong, I’m not looker either, but I don’t prance around thinking I’m hotter than Gisele Bündchen) so ANYWAY, my roommate, who I shall call “S” (yes, I am going Gossip Girl on you), decides to hook up with one of my Dad’s buddies, who I will call “X”. So X, an attractive, single, 38 year old man, gets very intoxicated. The party ends and about half the people go home (sensible people), and half proceed to the local bar (stupid people). So we’re all at this bar (yes, I’m stupid) and X makes a pass at me. Yes, I’m wasted, but hi, that’s my Dad’s friend, and I know better. X proceeds to make passes at my friends, A, B, and C. My friends, generally being smart and pretty, passed on the offer. So at some point in the night, I ventured back to my house where I promptly fell into a deep slumber. So the rest of this story is all hearsay, but I have spoken to A, B, C, S, and X, so I have a generally good idea of what happened. Later in the evening, my girls proceeded back to the house they were staying at. X and a friend ended up at the house too, in a pickup truck (wicked classy!). Now at this point, X was really, really, drunk. He had already taken a nap on the bar, and had wandered away from his friend on multiple occasions. So S really, really, really should have known better. As X and friend were sitting the the pickup truck, X was in the front cab and friend was lying in the pickup bed. S apparently hopped into the front of the cab to “chat” with X. From there, she asked X how old he was (38), and then proceeded to tell him she really shouldn’t hook up with him because her friend A really likes him. And then they hooked up.
Now let me ask you, if your friend really liked someone, would you hook up with them?! If you’re a good friend, then hell NO. Also, if this guy had tried to hook up with 4 of your other friends, and they all refused them (and by the way–they’re all single too), would you hook up with them? I would hope not. Otherwise, you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog.
So, I’d say that in general is why I’ve been living at my parent’s summer house in Maine, and not really too motivated to be in Boston. So perhaps I can blame my unemployment on my roommate? Nah, I’m not that much of an ass. But she is my last nerve…if this stuff keeps up, I might have to “lose” the mail key, or if I’m feeling really bitchy, maybe I’ll drink her milk.
